My daughter asked me this morning if it was okay for her to have a second dad to bond with. I had no idea what to say but it prompted me to think about where this came from.
She asked me this out of the blue. I’m not sure why though because she talks all the time about how much she loves her dad.
Is it because he’s gone all the time? I mean he’s never here and she knows he doesn’t have a job so I’m wondering if it’s because she doesn’t know where he is all day.
Or is it because when he is at home he’s in a bad mood. He’s fine when he gets home but he slowly falls into a bad mood whenever the kids start asking him questions. I told him it’s because he’s never here and he says I know but he keeps acting out.
I’m also hoping she doesn’t go trying to find a new dad either because that can get her kidnapped. It’s a scary thought and I hope it doesn’t happen. She’s my babygirl and I love her very much.
But also is she wanting me to get a boyfriend or something so she’ll have a new dad?
I don’t know what’s going on and I also don’t know how her dad will react when and if he finds out. He’s very sensitive about things like that and he gets his feelings hurt easily.
Not really because we homeschool but it looks really pretty right now but it probably won’t look like this when it melts.
It’ll be yucky and gross but that’s okay because it rarely snows here so we like it when it does.
Here are some pictures I took before the sun came up.
And a video.
I didn’t get my post from yesterday up until the middle of the night because I got extremely sick to my stomach because of heartburn. Really weird because I took my medicine for heartburn. I ended up having to chew some tums and taking a nap. Then I sat up all night, which is fine and all because that’s the only time I get to be myself anyway.
My husband woke up in a bad mood today and was extremely ugly to us all. He got mad about something and said
I wish I was still in jail
Made our daughter cry. I told him I could kick him out and he’d go back to jail and asked him if that would make him happy, he got mad of course.
He is driving me crazy. I will be glad when all of this is over.
That’s what keeps going through my mind when I find out that me and my daughter are having the same dreams.
Last night we dreamed about her death. Now I don’t know if in her dream if she died the same as in my dream but it’s weird to say the least.
I’ve never had this happen before but what I have had happen is feeling uneasy about certain people or feeling like there is someone around who shouldn’t be there.
I also have these uneasy feelings about going out like I feel like something bad may happen and those feelings have panned out. I can’t recall exactly what happened that concreted those feelings though.
Have any of you had this happen before? Let me know in the comments.
This is something I’ve been thinking about today, of course this is something that is different for everyone.
The worst experience of my life was watching both of my parents die and knowing there was nothing I could do to stop it.
My dad died from bone cancer at home in 1992. He took his last breaths after my aunt told him that his family would be taken care of and that he didn’t have to worry about us, that he could let go.
My mom died at home on July 3, 2007, my son’s 11th birthday. She was resuscitated though and lived until the next day when me and my brother decided it was best for her to just let her go because we had already been through this once with our dad and didn’t want to prolong her suffering.
She was in the hospital so no we didn’t kill her. The doctor said that they had done everything they could for her and that’s when we decided it was for the best.
There is no worse feeling than of helplessness. Anyone who has been through this knows that watching your loved ones die is horrible, but knowing they are going to die and there’s nothing you can do about it is worse.
I knew two weeks before my mom died that she was going to. She told me during that two weeks that she was scared but because I didn’t want her to be scared I lied and told her that everything was going to be fine and she didn’t need to be scared and that I was there. I later told my husband that she didn’t have much time left and she slumped over and died a week later with my kids in the room with her.
Even though I knew it was going to happen soon it still took me by surprise. The worst part is knowing that both of my parent’s were gone and I was all alone in this big scary world. My family doesn’t have much to do with me including my brother. My husband and I don’t get along and my kids are developmentally delayed so they aren’t equipped for what I need.
Anyway I just wanted to get this out there and I hope you found this post interesting.
Since today’s topic is great things that come in fours I decided to talk about my family because there is four of us and I didn’t like any of the hints or knew anything about them so I just picked my family.
I’ll start with myself. I’m the type of person who tries to stay positive no matter what life throws my way. I’m a shy introvert so I’m pretty much quiet. Which I think is a good thing because I’m not bothering anyone. My family loves me and that’s a great feeling.
My husband is an okay husband. He’s not the best but we’ve been together for 23 years. He does the things that I dislike doing so that’s a big plus for me, like he does the driving in the high traffic places where I hate driving. I’m very thankful for that.
My son helps me out with taking care of his sister when I don’t want to or when she’s being lazy, lol. He also does the things around the house that I don’t like doing like making the tea. He’s such a great helper.
My daughter isn’t all lazy though, she does take care of the dogs and cats when I don’t want to which is happening more and more lately. Thankfully she will fix her own food from time to time.
My family is the best and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. They have been there when no one else was there for me. I love them to the moon and back.
Well that’s a tough one because I don’t admire just one person. I admire a few people.
I admire my dad because of his strong work ethic, my mom because she told me I could be whatever I wanted when I grew up.
I guess I’d have to say I admire my mom the most though because she pushed me to do things I didn’t want to do like learning how to drive. I was so scared but she kept telling me it was something I needed to know how to do and have a license to do it even if I never drove.
You never want to have to depend on someone else because there may come a time when there is no one to help you.
She was right of course. I still don’t like to drive but I’m glad she forced me to learn and get a license because there have been times when no one was there to help me.
My dad, like I said, had the strong work ethic. He worked up until he couldn’t work anymore. I will never forget that day either. He was in so much pain that he was laying on one of the portable flats at his workplace and me and my cousin had to roll him around on it until we made him go home.
He was put in the hospital the same day, diagnosed with bone cancer the next day and was sent home to die. he lived for 2 weeks.
That was the worst 2 weeks of my life. Watching him slowly die and there was nothing I could do to help him. I never want to go through that again. Cancer took my dad and heart disease took my mom.
My plans are to sit at home and watch the ball drop on TV, as is the plan for introverts the world over.
It’s not that we want to sit at home because we don’t, we want to go out and have fun but then the moment we step foot into that crowded place we remember why we don’t go out.
It’s too loud, there’s too many people and we start getting bombarded with questions wanting to know what’s wrong, why are you so quiet? It’s an awful experience that we would just rather avoid at all costs.
Now going shopping and things like that is quite a bit different because there’s no socialising involved. We shop and there’s no talking and its quite enjoyable for some of us, until we run into someone we know and then we’re expected to hold a conversation. I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m bad with names and remembering things so it gets awkward real quick and I just want to disappear.
Sometimes I get lucky and they know me really well and want to avoid me just as much as I want to avoid them. That’s because of my resting bitch face and the fact that I can come off as a bitch. I look like I’m always in a bad mood even when I’m not and it makes me very unapproachable. It’s fine with me though considering I can’t hold a conversation and also tend to talk a lot and repeat a lot when I’m nervous. It’s a horrible problem that I need to work on, only problem is I don’t even realize I’m doing it.
I also am not good at socialising because I have a bad habit of saying whatever is on my mind and that can be something rude or inconsiderate which leads people to not want to be around me, but like I said I probably don’t want to be around them either so it’s a win win situation for both of us.
So I guess I seriously need to work on my people skills.
Wish me luck on that because I’m going to need it.
So anyway let me know about your plans for tonight in the comments.