I Am Not Your Friend

That’s what I constantly find myself having to tell my husband. I know it sounds harsh but after 20 years of him interrupting me or telling me he’s not interested after I’ve sat through all of his stuff you get fed up after a while.

The worst part is that’s not who I am but if you’re not going to be a friend to me I’m not going to be one to you. I’ve been on this earth too long to be used by someone who claims to love me and I’m done being used.

You can judge me all you want but the truth is you haven’t walked in my shoes so you don’t know what I’m going through. I’ve loved him for a very long time only he doesn’t love me and it’s a very lonely existence.

Being with him has caused my introversion to be worse also. I enjoyed going out and doing things but being stuck in this house all the time and being with the kids all the time has not been good.

I absolutely hate being around other people now but I can’t rule out that being with my kid’s 24/7 is probably the real reason my introversion is worse. But it doesn’t matter because I can’t send my daughter back to brick and mortar school because of the bullying.

I can only hope that one day I’ll get my alone time I so desperately need.

But on a brighter note I woke up feeling good today, also my son asked me last night what I wanted for Valentine’s day and then he said he would see if his dad would get it. He’s so sweet 😍.

I’m still watching Orange Is The New Black and it is a really good show I just wish I had started watching it as soon as we got Netflix.

It was also another beautiful sunny day.

I’m pretty excited about Valentine’s Day, I just hope we can afford to get stuff for each other. I want cordial cherry kisses and my son wants a heart shaped box of chocolates. It will be so fun to be able to give each other Valentine’s gifts this year.

Well that’s it for today so thanks and have a great night.

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It’s A Beautiful Day

Well it’s 3 minutes until 8 am and I don’t want to get up because I’m not feeling good but I have to because my daughter has school. I’m going to try to make the best of it and put some coffee on and hope that helps.

On a good note it stopped raining and there’s no more rain in the forecast but it is still cloudy but the sun is supposed to come out in a couple of days.

I’m also feeling better now that I’m up and moving around. It’s 9:28 am and the sun is out!

It looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day.

But now I’m going to finish watching Clown. It’s pretty good so far. It’s on Netflix with which I have become obsessed with lol. The only problem with this movie is that the woman is out running around chasing her husband instead of taking care of her kid. That makes me so angry.

Oh I forgot, it turns out that my daughter is sick too so I got to watch tv as I mentioned earlier. I think she just doesn’t want to be bothered with school though because she’s acting fine now but I don’t know. I’m not in her body.

I got through watching Clown and it wasn’t good. The woman in it was just too stupid. I started watching Orange is the New black and it’s good. The first two episodes made me want to cry though.

Then my kid’s dad came home and we got into an argument and that was that. Night ruined so I’m signing off.

Good night

What Is Wrong With Me?

Well today so far has been good except for the incident where my husband apparently didn’t put the truck in park before getting out to go into the recycling place and when he came out it was halfway down the road and the passengers side mirror got knocked off.

Then I went out to see if I could duplicate what he did because he said he took the keys out but when I got out there the keys were still in the truck not cranked up but the radio was on.

It could have been stolen because he’s notorious for bringing strangers around. I came in and told him that I was going to have to ban him from driving and he got all hostile with me like he always does.

And to believe I was giving us another chance after the millionth time. I feel so stupid. He’s always going to treat me like crap and apparently I’m always going to let him.

I am not going back to him this time. It’s over and I’m going to try to save money to get a divorce.

I’m scared of being alone but that’s a fear I’m going to have to face.

I hope I can get the divorce but I may need your help so if you can please click one of the donate buttons to help me out.

Thanks

Positive Outlook

I’m posting this to remind you that no matter how bad your day has been there is always something positive to find.

I know that some days are harder than others but you will find that little bit of good.

Yesterday was hard for me but I found my positive.

I kept telling myself

No matter how bad the kid’s act up they will be better tomorrow

And guess What? I was right, both kids are more calm today and not angry. As a matter of fact we all are much better today.

Yesterday our son had to get up for a therapy session which he absolutely did not want to get up for because he was sleepy and he was acting up the rest of the day which put me in a bad mood.

Then no one got any sleep last night which was bad but it has had no negative affects on us, so another positive.

So please look for the positive in your day today.

Thanks

I’m An Introvert

I’m An Introvert

Yes, I know, crazy right? Why would an introvert start a business that requires socializing?

Well believe or not we thrive online. Why? Because we get to choose when we socialize online. We are able to block people who make us mad or just won’t stop asking questions.

Believe me I have blocked a lot of people for that very reason. You can’t block people in the real world which is a bummer to us but we remedy that by just not meeting in the real world because that’s just too scary.

I have turned down so many invitations that people have just stopped inviting me to their gettogethers. (or at least that’s what I tell myself)

Although the real reason could be because I’m extremely rude. I don’t mean to be though. I also have a ad habit of not bringing anything to the party. I always used the excuse “I don’t have the money” but the real reason is that I’m not a good gift giver, I never have been AND because of being an introvert I’m too afraid to ask what I should bring. Just thinking about starting a conversation causes a panic attack.

I also have a tendency to have major breakdowns if I don’t get alone time or quiet time. I’m talking about getting angry and yelling at people when they have been talking for longer than I would like or just not going to bed when I want them to.

That brings me to what’s going on right now. I have gotten my days and nights mixed up because that’s the only time I get peace and quiet. I don’t think I will get them straightened out anytime soon either, but I hope I will, although at this point I prefer it when everyone is asleep.

Are you introverted, extroverted or ambiverted? Let me know in the comments.

Also if you enjoyed reading this please comment, like and share.

Thanks!
Mary’s Biz, LLC