Snow Day!

Not really because we homeschool but it looks really pretty right now but it probably won’t look like this when it melts.

It’ll be yucky and gross but that’s okay because it rarely snows here so we like it when it does.

Here are some pictures I took before the sun came up.

Neighbor’s car

And a video.

I didn’t get my post from yesterday up until the middle of the night because I got extremely sick to my stomach because of heartburn. Really weird because I took my medicine for heartburn. I ended up having to chew some tums and taking a nap. Then I sat up all night, which is fine and all because that’s the only time I get to be myself anyway.

My husband woke up in a bad mood today and was extremely ugly to us all. He got mad about something and said

I wish I was still in jail

Made our daughter cry. I told him I could kick him out and he’d go back to jail and asked him if that would make him happy, he got mad of course.

He is driving me crazy. I will be glad when all of this is over.

Wish me luck again.

Thanks

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Are We Connected Mentally?

That’s what keeps going through my mind when I find out that me and my daughter are having the same dreams.

Last night we dreamed about her death. Now I don’t know if in her dream if she died the same as in my dream but it’s weird to say the least.

I’ve never had this happen before but what I have had happen is feeling uneasy about certain people or feeling like there is someone around who shouldn’t be there.

I also have these uneasy feelings about going out like I feel like something bad may happen and those feelings have panned out. I can’t recall exactly what happened that concreted those feelings though.

Have any of you had this happen before? Let me know in the comments.

Thanks
Mary Owens

Just A Little Fun

Today I’m going to share some stuff that my daughter posted on her facebook profile. She takes pictures and does videos, mostly of our cats and are pretty humorous for the most part.

I hope you enjoy them.

She had a lot more but I decided this was enough and as you can see she documents everything and I think she might be a little crazy lol, but she comes by it naturally, hint, hint lol.

Thanks
Mary Owens

The Love Of My Life

The Love Of My Life

That’s her with our cat.

When I got pregnant with my daughter I had no idea that I could love someone that much that I hadn’t even met yet but I did.

She started crying as soon as she was born but when the doctor put her next to me she stopped, it was magical, and she was the most beautiful baby I’d ever seen (of course I’m biased though).

My love for her has only grown in the 15 1/2 years she’s been on this earth. I tell my husband she’s my soulmate but he says

Your daughter can’t be your soulmate.

I beg to differ, I believe anyone can be your soulmate because to me that just means who you’re supposed to spend your life with and that’s my daughter.

I would give my life if it meant saving hers and she has said the same thing about me.

I know that she will eventually want to have her own life but for now she only wants me and I’m going to cherish that.

What’s your take on soul mates? Let me know in the comments.

Thanks
Mary Owens

The Worst Experience Of My Life

The Worst Experience Of My Life

My mom, dad and her little brother.

This is something I’ve been thinking about today, of course this is something that is different for everyone.

The worst experience of my life was watching both of my parents die and knowing there was nothing I could do to stop it.

My dad died from bone cancer at home in 1992. He took his last breaths after my aunt told him that his family would be taken care of and that he didn’t have to worry about us, that he could let go.

My mom died at home on July 3, 2007, my son’s 11th birthday. She was resuscitated though and lived until the next day when me and my brother decided it was best for her to just let her go because we had already been through this once with our dad and didn’t want to prolong her suffering.

She was in the hospital so no we didn’t kill her. The doctor said that they had done everything they could for her and that’s when we decided it was for the best.

There is no worse feeling than of helplessness. Anyone who has been through this knows that watching your loved ones die is horrible, but knowing they are going to die and there’s nothing you can do about it is worse.

I knew two weeks before my mom died that she was going to. She told me during that two weeks that she was scared but because I didn’t want her to be scared I lied and told her that everything was going to be fine and she didn’t need to be scared and that I was there. I later told my husband that she didn’t have much time left and she slumped over and died a week later with my kids in the room with her.

Even though I knew it was going to happen soon it still took me by surprise. The worst part is knowing that both of my parent’s were gone and I was all alone in this big scary world. My family doesn’t have much to do with me including my brother. My husband and I don’t get along and my kids are developmentally delayed so they aren’t equipped for what I need.
Anyway I just wanted to get this out there and I hope you found this post interesting.

Thanks
Mary Owens

My Family Of Four

My Family Of Four

My husband, daughter and son.

Since today’s topic is great things that come in fours I decided to talk about my family because there is four of us and I didn’t like any of the hints or knew anything about them so I just picked my family.

I’ll start with myself. I’m the type of person who tries to stay positive no matter what life throws my way. I’m a shy introvert so I’m pretty much quiet. Which I think is a good thing because I’m not bothering anyone. My family loves me and that’s a great feeling.

My husband is an okay husband. He’s not the best but we’ve been together for 23 years. He does the things that I dislike doing so that’s a big plus for me, like he does the driving in the high traffic places where I hate driving. I’m very thankful for that.

My son helps me out with taking care of his sister when I don’t want to or when she’s being lazy, lol. He also does the things around the house that I don’t like doing like making the tea. He’s such a great helper.

My daughter isn’t all lazy though, she does take care of the dogs and cats when I don’t want to which is happening more and more lately. Thankfully she will fix her own food from time to time.

My family is the best and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. They have been there when no one else was there for me. I love them to the moon and back.

Have a great day!
Mary Owens

Why I Started Online Marketing and Blogging

I started online marketing because I hated every job I ever had except when I worked in my family’s store.

My mom started out doing floral arrangements and drawing after she was in a wreck not long after my older brother was born and her back and pelvis was broken so she was deemed disabled. So she had no choice in the matter about what work she did.

She later branched out to doing craft shows and after that opened a convenience store to help out our neighborhood.

Then in 1992 my dad was diagnosed with bone cancer and died 2 weeks later in April. She decided it was best to stop because he was the only person helping her.

She also stopped because I had started working with my dad at the chalk plant where he was the foreman. I hated that job but I had a job working at Hardee’s that I hated also. I quit working at the chalk plant a few months after my dad died.

I wish I could say that was the worst job I ever had but it wasn’t. I started work at Wal-Mart in 1994 and not surprisingly I hated that job too but I stayed there for 5 years and then quit after my son was diagnosed as being developmentally delayed and my mom said I needed to be at home with him. Needless to say I didn’t argue with her because again I hated working there.

Every job I ever had I didn’t get along with anyone except for a few people which made working at those jobs unbearable. My job at Hardee’s was the worst though because the people always talked about me behind my back, even the manager. I know right? It was like being back in school. I hated everyone except a couple of people I worked with. I quit that job too and tried to go back to High school but I’m not good at making friends so I quit again after a few months.

I started the job at Hardee’s because my parents made me when I decided I didn’t want to go to school. I was being bullied to the point of wanting to commit suicide but my parents didn’t understand. I had no idea that working a job was exactly the same. I was naive and thought they would be fully functioning adults but no they were still children just pretending to be adults.

It was later after my son was born and we finally got a computer and internet service that I thought there has to be a way to make money online. I started searching and found that I could sign up for surfing websites and make money just showing my affiliate page. It was easy back then. Now you can’t do that anymore.

I did that off and on a few times then the last time I decided to do it everything had changed. Now thery were saying you had to build a list to make money and have a blog so I did that with a few places until I found the company I’m with now that is inexpensive and a wonderful company. The best I’ve been with so far.

Anyway that’s how I got started in my business.

If you want to see what it’s all about you can click here and sign up to get emails telling you all about it.

Thanks
Mary Owens

Got Plans For New Year’s Eve?

Got Plans For New Year’s Eve?

My plans are to sit at home and watch the ball drop on TV, as is the plan for introverts the world over.

It’s not that we want to sit at home because we don’t, we want to go out and have fun but then the moment we step foot into that crowded place we remember why we don’t go out.

It’s too loud, there’s too many people and we start getting bombarded with questions wanting to know what’s wrong, why are you so quiet? It’s an awful experience that we would just rather avoid at all costs.

Now going shopping and things like that is quite a bit different because there’s no socialising involved. We shop and there’s no talking and its quite enjoyable for some of us, until we run into someone we know and then we’re expected to hold a conversation. I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m bad with names and remembering things so it gets awkward real quick and I just want to disappear.

Sometimes I get lucky and they know me really well and want to avoid me just as much as I want to avoid them. That’s because of my resting bitch face and the fact that I can come off as a bitch. I look like I’m always in a bad mood even when I’m not and it makes me very unapproachable. It’s fine with me though considering I can’t hold a conversation and also tend to talk a lot and repeat a lot when I’m nervous. It’s a horrible problem that I need to work on, only problem is I don’t even realize I’m doing it.

I also am not good at socialising because I have a bad habit of saying whatever is on my mind and that can be something rude or inconsiderate which leads people to not want to be around me, but like I said I probably don’t want to be around them either so it’s a win win situation for both of us.

So I guess I seriously need to work on my people skills.

Wish me luck on that because I’m going to need it.

So anyway let me know about your plans for tonight in the comments.

Thanks
Mary Owens

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

As we close out this year and start a new one I felt the urge to write a post about this past year. It hasn’t been kind to me and it’s my own fault.

I keep falling back into old habits of trusting the same people and even though they have proven time and time again that they can’t be trusted I keep doing it.

You might be wondering why because I am too. It’s not like I can’t take care of myself I mean my husband was in jail for 3 months and I was on my own for the first time ever with 2 kid’s no less, but I did it and it turns out it’s not as bad as I thought.

Am I having trouble doing things for myself because I’m so introverted? Who knows, but one thing I do know is that I hate driving and new things, and it’s so bad that I will procrastinate anything until it can’t be ignored anymore and it has become a real problem in my life.

I have multiple health issues going on right now but I’m having problems adjusting to my new doctor and I’ve only been once. I’ve been breaking out in hives for some unknown reason and I have a lump on my stomach. All of this needs to be dealt with along with the fact I have to get blood work done too that I seem to have trouble with also.

So in light of the new year my resolution is to stop being scared of new things and get this stuff done so I don’t die prematurely leaving my kids behind wondering where everything went so wrong.

I am so hoping that any introverts that read this can help me with my problems of getting out and not being scared, especially about driving in the crowded cities.

Thanks and


Mary Owens

What If I killed Myself?

What If I killed Myself?

Me and my daughter July 31, 2017

That’s what my daughter has asked me at various times, especially her last year in brick and mortar school. She had been bullied quite a bit but I am lucky to have children who tell us these things because, actually I don’t know how we got so lucky because I know there are parents out there asking themselves what did I do wrong? Why couldn’t my child come to me?

It makes me sad that those parents think they did something wrong. The saddest part is we’ll never know what drove those kids to suicide. I’m just so grateful that my children felt they could come to us with these things.

But she didn’t tell me she wanted to die, no, she told the doctor and I am so grateful she felt comfortable enough to tell the doctor this.

But anyway back to the original question. What if she killed herself? I would most definitely cry because she is my best friend. After that I don’t know. I don’t even know if I could continue living without her.

I know what you’re thinking, what about your son and husband? They’ve never needed me nor me them but my daughter and me, that’s a totally different story. We will always need one another. It would probably be like Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds, my daughter die one day, me the next and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I just thought about this because I recently started watching the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why and Hannah’s family had no idea what was going on with her and had no idea she had no friends because of one stupid picture. That show made me see why it’s so hard for teenagers but then I already knew because I was once a teenager too.

So please if you are in crisis please tell someone or visit 13reasonswhy.info for local resources to help you through this difficult time.

Also remember you are never alone, someone loves you and would be devastated if you were no longer here.

Thanks
Mary Owens