Where Do I Go From Here?

I am lost. I have no idea where to go. My husband keeeps spending money we don’t have and I don’t know what to do.

I’ve tried to do all the shopping but he makes sure he stays gone in the truck so I’m unable to do the shopping.

I just wish there was some place for me to go to get away from him but I’m broke so I have to wait for him to leave which I really hope will be soon.

So please send me some good luck.

Thank you.

P.S. sorry for the pity party. I’m just not in a good place right now.

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What If I killed Myself?

What If I killed Myself?

Me and my daughter July 31, 2017

That’s what my daughter has asked me at various times, especially her last year in brick and mortar school. She had been bullied quite a bit but I am lucky to have children who tell us these things because, actually I don’t know how we got so lucky because I know there are parents out there asking themselves what did I do wrong? Why couldn’t my child come to me?

It makes me sad that those parents think they did something wrong. The saddest part is we’ll never know what drove those kids to suicide. I’m just so grateful that my children felt they could come to us with these things.

But she didn’t tell me she wanted to die, no, she told the doctor and I am so grateful she felt comfortable enough to tell the doctor this.

But anyway back to the original question. What if she killed herself? I would most definitely cry because she is my best friend. After that I don’t know. I don’t even know if I could continue living without her.

I know what you’re thinking, what about your son and husband? They’ve never needed me nor me them but my daughter and me, that’s a totally different story. We will always need one another. It would probably be like Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds, my daughter die one day, me the next and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I just thought about this because I recently started watching the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why and Hannah’s family had no idea what was going on with her and had no idea she had no friends because of one stupid picture. That show made me see why it’s so hard for teenagers but then I already knew because I was once a teenager too.

So please if you are in crisis please tell someone or visit 13reasonswhy.info for local resources to help you through this difficult time.

Also remember you are never alone, someone loves you and would be devastated if you were no longer here.

Thanks
Mary Owens

What If My Husband Dies?

What If My Husband Dies?

This is something I’ve been thinking about since yesterday. The reason is because I’ve been seeing these posts on Facebook about repost this if you know someone who has fought cancer and died or survived. Here’s the one I posted.

May be my last post for awhile……love you all!
Certainly, in the most difficult moments of life you realize who are true friends or the people who really appreciate you 😊 Unfortunately, some friends will click on “like” but in reality they do not take time to read your status if they see it’s lengthy.
Now I’m watching the ones who will have time to read this post until the end. This is a little test just to see who reads, and who shares without reading.
If you have read everything so far, select “like” so I can put a thank you in your profile. Cancer is very invasive and destructive to our body, even after the end of the treatment, your body is still fighting with yourself trying to reconstruct all the damage caused by radiation. It’s a very long process.
Please, in honor of a family member or a friend who died, or is still fighting cancer, or even had cancer but it’s healed; copy and paste (not share) in your page.
So I will know who read my status 😍, please write “done” in the comments. Thank you for this opportunity to share this with you for those people and Loved one’s that fought toe to toe, time for cancer to go be gone..
Love you all.
Positive vibes and energy to you all!!

That’s only one variation though. I saw another one that started out like this:

This won’t be my last post but it will be the last one for a while of significance.

I don’t want to post anymore because my mind is in a dark and depressing place because of this.

I’ve been thinking about this more now than before because my dad died from bone cancer when my mom was 51, I’m 46, scary right? The only difference is that my dad was 60 when he died. My husband as of today is 49, still though he died when my mom was 51.

I keep thinking, Am I ready for life on my own? The answer is if my husband was to die today I would have to be. I would have to learn how to handle myself in stressful situations, situations I use to avoid and let my husband take care of because he was just better at it than me.

I have a tendency to panic when I’m in unfamiliar situations like driving in new places. The problem is panicking in a car can get people killed. That is something I want to avoid but I don’t know how. I’m also unsure of how to get help to learn how to cope in life when my partner is no longer around.

If anyone reading this knows how to help me please comment below, it will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks
Mary Owens

Tragedy Has Struck My Family (Not A Death)

Tragedy Has Struck My Family (Not A Death)

Well just last month on May 10th my husband ended up getting arrested leaving me alone with no way to go. Luckily he has good friends that helped me adjust to being alone with two developmentally delayed children along with my family. Thank goodness he’s better at making friends than I am.

About a week later I got our truck back thank goodness. It was left at someone’s house and wasn’t impounded. Although the reunion with our truck wasn’t all rosy because it had been burglarized. If it wasn’t attached to the truck it was stolen along with my government phone that I was getting free service on. Such a bummer.

Our Truck

On top of that my kids were having a hard time adjusting to his absence with my oldest having to be hospitalized because he was thinking about killing himself, me and his sister. That was scary finding out that was going on in his head. He isn’t doing much better either, He’s schizophrenic, bi-polar and has Tourette’s syndrome. We still haven’t got his meds straightened out either. Please keep him in your prayers or whatever it is you do to help make good things happen.

My son Mark, Jr.

My daughter cried for about a week but seems fine now but still misses her daddy.

My daughter Arianna

As for me I was scared out of my mind for about two weeks and was wanting him home immediately despite the fact that I have been wanting a divorce for quite sometime now. I am doing much better now and we are doing better financially without him. So I will be going forward with the divorce soon.

Me

Well thank you for reading my post and please keep us in your thoughts as we navigate this new adventure.

Mary Owens
Owner Mary’s Biz, LLC