Well once again I didn’t do all the posts but this time it was because some of the topics I either didn’t know what to write or I had no interest in it.
Then like about 2 weeks before the end I realized that I could just write like I was doing a daily vlog, you know a look at my life but of course it got depressing but that’s fine because I know my life and I will keep writing about it.
So what I learned from this challenge is that I don’t have to talk only about my business or even wait for something interesting to happen to me, I can just talk about my thoughts and my daily life because people will read it.
I waited until it got dark outside to write this so no picture because it’s freaking cold and dark outside because we have no outside light and no money to get it fixed.
On the bright side though I’ve been entering for the HGTV dream home and I have a good feeling about it this year. I’m gonna win and it’s going to be freaking awesome!
But I’ve got to get my butt in gear with my advertising. I haven’t done any in a long time. I’m just not motivated I guess because I never have any alone time and I really need that to recharge my batteries, or I’m depressed, not sure which one it is but I feel like it doesn’t matter because I have to keep my eye on the prize if I want my independence.
I seriously want my own car so I’m not stuck here at home waiting for my soon to be ex to come home so I can have my independence.
I’ll get there soon I hope.
I’m gonna take a picture anyway the stars are probably beautiful tonight.
Well it’s 3 minutes until 8 am and I don’t want to get up because I’m not feeling good but I have to because my daughter has school. I’m going to try to make the best of it and put some coffee on and hope that helps.
On a good note it stopped raining and there’s no more rain in the forecast but it is still cloudy but the sun is supposed to come out in a couple of days.
I’m also feeling better now that I’m up and moving around. It’s 9:28 am and the sun is out!
It looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day.
But now I’m going to finish watching Clown. It’s pretty good so far. It’s on Netflix with which I have become obsessed with lol. The only problem with this movie is that the woman is out running around chasing her husband instead of taking care of her kid. That makes me so angry.
Oh I forgot, it turns out that my daughter is sick too so I got to watch tv as I mentioned earlier. I think she just doesn’t want to be bothered with school though because she’s acting fine now but I don’t know. I’m not in her body.
I got through watching Clown and it wasn’t good. The woman in it was just too stupid. I started watching Orange is the New black and it’s good. The first two episodes made me want to cry though.
Then my kid’s dad came home and we got into an argument and that was that. Night ruined so I’m signing off.
Well today has been dreary because it rained all day. But me and the kids had a good day, very uneventful thank goodness.
They also haven’t asked about their dad all day which I absolutely love because it gets annoying especially when my son wants me to call him and make sure he’s okay.
I just tell him he’s fine and we don’t need to call him.
We have several doctor’s appointments next week most of which are mine that I’m hoping I won’t chicken out of. I seriously need to get to my appointments because of this lump on my stomach, I need refills on my medicine and the breakouts I’m having which I can’t explain. It’s just horrible.
I also have to start going to the kid’s appointments because their dad can’t seem to remember what the doctor says which is not good for me because I never get alone time to recharge my batteries which anyone who has read my blog before knows I need because I’m very introverted.
I never have the energy for anything anymore because I’m always with at least one person every single day and it’s getting old real quick.
But try to tell their extrovert dad that. He has no idea what I’m talking about and doesn’t care because he always has an excuse as to why he can’t take the kids with him.
I am so over this married life. All I want is to be left alone for about 20 years or better yet the rest of my life.
So please send me some good vibes for tonight and next week.
Okay so they went trick or treating last night and after they got home I realized it may have been a mistake.
First Arianna texted me to tell me that she got sick and her brother Mark went for her. No big deal because she’s 15 and I figured if she kept the doors locked that she was fine. She texted me back to say that her Uncle Dan was watching her. Now this man is someone I do not like BUT at this point there’s nothing I can do because I chose not to go but everything turned out fine so again no big deal.
So on to her brother Mark. If you don’t already know he suffers from Schizophrenia. If you are not familiar with it let me enlighten you. This is a horrible mental health disorder that if not treated properly will destroy the sufferers life and those around them. They suffer from delusions, hallucinations, disordered thinking and speech, and disorganized behavior. Certain things can trigger these behaviors even when treated properly but he wanted to go so I let him. Huge mistake.
When he got home I knew something was wrong. He was acting paranoid, every time someone went into the kitchen he wanted to know who was there. Even after taking his medicine he couldn’t calm down. By midnight I was getting angry and even though I knew that yelling at him wasn’t going to help I couldn’t take it anymore. He was in and out of his room, yelling at the voices and driving me crazy. By 2:30 A.M. I gave up and went to bed.
He finally calmed down and went to sleep but since I went to bed I don’t know what time he calmed down but when I got up this morning he was sleeping good and when he got up I noticed a big difference in how he was acting.
So now I know to think about his mental health when deciding about celebrating holidays. No crowds for him anymore. Just quiet celebrations at home and let his dad and sister do that crowded stuff in public.
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