Well once again I didn’t do all the posts but this time it was because some of the topics I either didn’t know what to write or I had no interest in it.
Then like about 2 weeks before the end I realized that I could just write like I was doing a daily vlog, you know a look at my life but of course it got depressing but that’s fine because I know my life and I will keep writing about it.
So what I learned from this challenge is that I don’t have to talk only about my business or even wait for something interesting to happen to me, I can just talk about my thoughts and my daily life because people will read it.
I waited until it got dark outside to write this so no picture because it’s freaking cold and dark outside because we have no outside light and no money to get it fixed.
On the bright side though I’ve been entering for the HGTV dream home and I have a good feeling about it this year. I’m gonna win and it’s going to be freaking awesome!
But I’ve got to get my butt in gear with my advertising. I haven’t done any in a long time. I’m just not motivated I guess because I never have any alone time and I really need that to recharge my batteries, or I’m depressed, not sure which one it is but I feel like it doesn’t matter because I have to keep my eye on the prize if I want my independence.
I seriously want my own car so I’m not stuck here at home waiting for my soon to be ex to come home so I can have my independence.
I’ll get there soon I hope.
I’m gonna take a picture anyway the stars are probably beautiful tonight.
Well it’s 3 minutes until 8 am and I don’t want to get up because I’m not feeling good but I have to because my daughter has school. I’m going to try to make the best of it and put some coffee on and hope that helps.
On a good note it stopped raining and there’s no more rain in the forecast but it is still cloudy but the sun is supposed to come out in a couple of days.
I’m also feeling better now that I’m up and moving around. It’s 9:28 am and the sun is out!
It looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day.
But now I’m going to finish watching Clown. It’s pretty good so far. It’s on Netflix with which I have become obsessed with lol. The only problem with this movie is that the woman is out running around chasing her husband instead of taking care of her kid. That makes me so angry.
Oh I forgot, it turns out that my daughter is sick too so I got to watch tv as I mentioned earlier. I think she just doesn’t want to be bothered with school though because she’s acting fine now but I don’t know. I’m not in her body.
I got through watching Clown and it wasn’t good. The woman in it was just too stupid. I started watching Orange is the New black and it’s good. The first two episodes made me want to cry though.
Then my kid’s dad came home and we got into an argument and that was that. Night ruined so I’m signing off.
Well today has been dreary because it rained all day. But me and the kids had a good day, very uneventful thank goodness.
They also haven’t asked about their dad all day which I absolutely love because it gets annoying especially when my son wants me to call him and make sure he’s okay.
I just tell him he’s fine and we don’t need to call him.
We have several doctor’s appointments next week most of which are mine that I’m hoping I won’t chicken out of. I seriously need to get to my appointments because of this lump on my stomach, I need refills on my medicine and the breakouts I’m having which I can’t explain. It’s just horrible.
I also have to start going to the kid’s appointments because their dad can’t seem to remember what the doctor says which is not good for me because I never get alone time to recharge my batteries which anyone who has read my blog before knows I need because I’m very introverted.
I never have the energy for anything anymore because I’m always with at least one person every single day and it’s getting old real quick.
But try to tell their extrovert dad that. He has no idea what I’m talking about and doesn’t care because he always has an excuse as to why he can’t take the kids with him.
I am so over this married life. All I want is to be left alone for about 20 years or better yet the rest of my life.
So please send me some good vibes for tonight and next week.
Well today so far has been good except for the incident where my husband apparently didn’t put the truck in park before getting out to go into the recycling place and when he came out it was halfway down the road and the passengers side mirror got knocked off.
Then I went out to see if I could duplicate what he did because he said he took the keys out but when I got out there the keys were still in the truck not cranked up but the radio was on.
It could have been stolen because he’s notorious for bringing strangers around. I came in and told him that I was going to have to ban him from driving and he got all hostile with me like he always does.
And to believe I was giving us another chance after the millionth time. I feel so stupid. He’s always going to treat me like crap and apparently I’m always going to let him.
I am not going back to him this time. It’s over and I’m going to try to save money to get a divorce.
I’m scared of being alone but that’s a fear I’m going to have to face.
I hope I can get the divorce but I may need your help so if you can please click one of the donate buttons to help me out.
Not really because we homeschool but it looks really pretty right now but it probably won’t look like this when it melts.
It’ll be yucky and gross but that’s okay because it rarely snows here so we like it when it does.
Here are some pictures I took before the sun came up.
And a video.
I didn’t get my post from yesterday up until the middle of the night because I got extremely sick to my stomach because of heartburn. Really weird because I took my medicine for heartburn. I ended up having to chew some tums and taking a nap. Then I sat up all night, which is fine and all because that’s the only time I get to be myself anyway.
My husband woke up in a bad mood today and was extremely ugly to us all. He got mad about something and said
I wish I was still in jail
Made our daughter cry. I told him I could kick him out and he’d go back to jail and asked him if that would make him happy, he got mad of course.
He is driving me crazy. I will be glad when all of this is over.
This is something I’ve been thinking about today, of course this is something that is different for everyone.
The worst experience of my life was watching both of my parents die and knowing there was nothing I could do to stop it.
My dad died from bone cancer at home in 1992. He took his last breaths after my aunt told him that his family would be taken care of and that he didn’t have to worry about us, that he could let go.
My mom died at home on July 3, 2007, my son’s 11th birthday. She was resuscitated though and lived until the next day when me and my brother decided it was best for her to just let her go because we had already been through this once with our dad and didn’t want to prolong her suffering.
She was in the hospital so no we didn’t kill her. The doctor said that they had done everything they could for her and that’s when we decided it was for the best.
There is no worse feeling than of helplessness. Anyone who has been through this knows that watching your loved ones die is horrible, but knowing they are going to die and there’s nothing you can do about it is worse.
I knew two weeks before my mom died that she was going to. She told me during that two weeks that she was scared but because I didn’t want her to be scared I lied and told her that everything was going to be fine and she didn’t need to be scared and that I was there. I later told my husband that she didn’t have much time left and she slumped over and died a week later with my kids in the room with her.
Even though I knew it was going to happen soon it still took me by surprise. The worst part is knowing that both of my parent’s were gone and I was all alone in this big scary world. My family doesn’t have much to do with me including my brother. My husband and I don’t get along and my kids are developmentally delayed so they aren’t equipped for what I need.
Anyway I just wanted to get this out there and I hope you found this post interesting.
Since today’s topic is great things that come in fours I decided to talk about my family because there is four of us and I didn’t like any of the hints or knew anything about them so I just picked my family.
I’ll start with myself. I’m the type of person who tries to stay positive no matter what life throws my way. I’m a shy introvert so I’m pretty much quiet. Which I think is a good thing because I’m not bothering anyone. My family loves me and that’s a great feeling.
My husband is an okay husband. He’s not the best but we’ve been together for 23 years. He does the things that I dislike doing so that’s a big plus for me, like he does the driving in the high traffic places where I hate driving. I’m very thankful for that.
My son helps me out with taking care of his sister when I don’t want to or when she’s being lazy, lol. He also does the things around the house that I don’t like doing like making the tea. He’s such a great helper.
My daughter isn’t all lazy though, she does take care of the dogs and cats when I don’t want to which is happening more and more lately. Thankfully she will fix her own food from time to time.
My family is the best and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. They have been there when no one else was there for me. I love them to the moon and back.
Well that’s a tough one because I don’t admire just one person. I admire a few people.
I admire my dad because of his strong work ethic, my mom because she told me I could be whatever I wanted when I grew up.
I guess I’d have to say I admire my mom the most though because she pushed me to do things I didn’t want to do like learning how to drive. I was so scared but she kept telling me it was something I needed to know how to do and have a license to do it even if I never drove.
You never want to have to depend on someone else because there may come a time when there is no one to help you.
She was right of course. I still don’t like to drive but I’m glad she forced me to learn and get a license because there have been times when no one was there to help me.
My dad, like I said, had the strong work ethic. He worked up until he couldn’t work anymore. I will never forget that day either. He was in so much pain that he was laying on one of the portable flats at his workplace and me and my cousin had to roll him around on it until we made him go home.
He was put in the hospital the same day, diagnosed with bone cancer the next day and was sent home to die. he lived for 2 weeks.
That was the worst 2 weeks of my life. Watching him slowly die and there was nothing I could do to help him. I never want to go through that again. Cancer took my dad and heart disease took my mom.
Haven’t we all been mischievous? I know I have. Always have been and always will be 😉
I use to always play tricks on my mom to make her curse and thought that was just the funniest thing ever.
I would say something awful and then goad her into saying she had thought about it and then I would say “Mom! That’s terrible! How could you!” Lol and then the cursing would start and she would exclaim “You tricked Me!” And I would laugh and laugh! Lol
I was so bad.
Then out in public I would get right behind her and walk as close as I could so that I was walking right on her hills but without stepping on them. The looks I got with that was priceless and then she would stop and I’d bump into her and get in trouble for that.
I very much enjoyed aggravating my mom.
That’s the only mischief I remember getting into but if any of my family members read this comment something I’ve forgotten about.