I Am Not Your Friend

That’s what I constantly find myself having to tell my husband. I know it sounds harsh but after 20 years of him interrupting me or telling me he’s not interested after I’ve sat through all of his stuff you get fed up after a while.

The worst part is that’s not who I am but if you’re not going to be a friend to me I’m not going to be one to you. I’ve been on this earth too long to be used by someone who claims to love me and I’m done being used.

You can judge me all you want but the truth is you haven’t walked in my shoes so you don’t know what I’m going through. I’ve loved him for a very long time only he doesn’t love me and it’s a very lonely existence.

Being with him has caused my introversion to be worse also. I enjoyed going out and doing things but being stuck in this house all the time and being with the kids all the time has not been good.

I absolutely hate being around other people now but I can’t rule out that being with my kid’s 24/7 is probably the real reason my introversion is worse. But it doesn’t matter because I can’t send my daughter back to brick and mortar school because of the bullying.

I can only hope that one day I’ll get my alone time I so desperately need.

But on a brighter note I woke up feeling good today, also my son asked me last night what I wanted for Valentine’s day and then he said he would see if his dad would get it. He’s so sweet 😍.

I’m still watching Orange Is The New Black and it is a really good show I just wish I had started watching it as soon as we got Netflix.

It was also another beautiful sunny day.

I’m pretty excited about Valentine’s Day, I just hope we can afford to get stuff for each other. I want cordial cherry kisses and my son wants a heart shaped box of chocolates. It will be so fun to be able to give each other Valentine’s gifts this year.

Well that’s it for today so thanks and have a great night.

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